


More Than Worth It

by SyntheticWinter



Category: Mortal Instruments Series - Cassandra Clare
Genre: M/M, Post-Break Up
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-03
Updated: 2016-09-03
Packaged: 2018-08-12 16:45:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7941739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SyntheticWinter/pseuds/SyntheticWinter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>To say that Jace was not having a good day would be an understatement. Alec's been miserable for WEEKS, and Jace is absolutely sick of it. So he goes to see Magnus.</p>
            </blockquote>





	More Than Worth It

To say that Jace was not having a good day would be an understatement.

It was Christmas, but the festivities (if they could even be called that) were subdued almost to the point of nonexistence. They were all still in mourning for Max. Maryse was quiet and pale. Isabelle was trying, but her smile was too bright and didn’t quite reach her eyes. And Alec… well. Alec was still having a tough time after the break-up with Magnus. And that was all of them. Robert had remained in Idris, whether out of necessity or choice was unclear. Jace supposed it didn’t matter. And both Clary and Simon had been encouraged to stay away today, mostly so they weren’t subjected to the stifling atmosphere.

And Isabelle, in true sisterly fashion, had gotten him duck-print pajamas. He managed a thin smile and half-heartedly promised revenge.

He made his excuses soon after, eager to escape, and heard the others doing the same behind him. He made straight for the training room, needing the distraction. An hour later, he was sweaty and frustrated. He would rather train with a partner, but there was no way he was asking either Isabelle or Alec, not today. He wasn’t _that_ much of an asshole.

He passed Alec’s room on the way to his own. Alec’s door was shut, no sound coming from within.

Jace sighed, raked a frustrated hand through his hair, and grabbed his jacket.

* * *

Even the weather outside seemed to be conspiring to make his day miserable. It was cold, but not that cold. In fact, it was not-cold enough that the snow on the ground that would usually be white and fluffy was gray and smushy. It didn’t crunch pleasantly beneath his boots; it squished disgustingly.

He trudged through the city, not wanting to deal with the subway even glamoured. There were few people about; almost everyone was inside, with their families. Jace shoved his hands deeper into his pockets.

Eventually, the familiar redbrick warehouse loomed into view. He leaned on the buzzer until the door clicked open, then climbed the stairs quickly and banged on the apartment door. Loudly.

“WHO DARES DISTURB—” The door flew open, and the voice broke off. “Oh, it’s _you_.”

Jace blinked, all the words flying straight out of his head. Magnus was dressed in un-ripped jeans and a plain dark red shirt. And there was not a speck of glitter on him that Jace could see. Magnus made an irritated noise, and Jace realized he was staring. “We need to talk.”

He was ready with several witty retorts to whatever the warlock might say to him, but they were little use when Magnus merely turned, threw up his hands in exasperation, and disappeared into the apartment. Jace followed, pausing to shut and lock the door. When he turned back, he stopped in surprise, taking in the walls and the furniture. Everything looked… exactly as it had before, nearly two weeks ago. Okay, that was weird.

Magnus was sprawled across his sofa, fingers idly stroking Chairman Meow’s fur. “So. What do you have to say to me that Isabelle and Clary have not already said?”

“Alec’s losing it. He doesn’t eat. He doesn’t sleep.” Jace threw his hands up. “The only thing he ever seems to do is stare at the wall and mope.”

“Not my concern.”

“He’s going to get himself _killed_. Not three days ago, he threw himself at a demon!”

“Isn’t that what you Shadowhunters _do_?”

“Not Alec. He’s an archer; his job is to hang back and shoot stuff, not charge in swinging.” Jace paused to take a breath. “Look, whatever he did, he’s _sorry_.”

Magnus glanced at him, a hard smile curling the corners of his mouth. “He didn’t tell you?” He turned away again, sounding almost bitter when he muttered, “No surprises there.”

Jace bristled. “What’s that supped to mean?”

“Alec is not the most… forthright of people. And he would not want to ruin your good opinion of him.”

“Nothing he could say could ever do that,” Jace said quietly.

Magnus laughed, but it was not a happy sound. “ _This_ could.”

“Try me.”

“Fine. He conspired with someone I really, _really_ don’t like, with the intent to take away my immortality.” Jace gaped at him, completely stunned. Magnus looked satisfied. “See?”

Jace recovered himself quickly. “Nah.”

“‘Nah’? I lay out for you this marvelously complex plan to significantly alter my person, and you come back with ‘nah’?” Magnus was appalled.

Jace grinned. “Well, first off, ‘laid out’ is just a _little_ bit of an exaggeration for what you did. Second, I don’t believe it. Alec wouldn’t do that. Or if he did, he had a damn good reason. So… ‘nah.’” Sobering, he asked, “Have you talked to him?”

“Not since, no.”

“Do. I’d bet there’s something else going on and he just didn’t know how to explain. I’ve found that with Alec, the things he does don’t always make sense at the time, but the intentions behind them were genuine, and sometimes they work out. And right now he _really_ needs to know you don’t hate him. He’s falling apart, Magnus.”

“It’s been two weeks. Give it time.”

Jace sighed. “Just… talk to him, okay?” He offered his most charming smile, but Magnus’s expression didn’t so much as flicker as Jace rose and headed for the door.

* * *

Magnus sat on his couch, staring unseeingly at his lemon-yellow wall. He’d asked Jace to give him some time, said he needed to think about it. The blond had glared at him, but had eventually acquiesced.

And he did think about it.

He thought about the first time he’d seen Alec, the way he’d drawn Magnus’s eye without trying. As he pulled on a decent pair of pants, he thought about Alec’s shy smile and blue eyes. As he dug through his closet for a shirt, he thought about Alec turning an adorable shade of red and asking Magnus on a date. He buttoned the shirt, thinking about their first date, the way he and Alec had worked seamlessly together when dealing with the werewolf girl. As he selected and laced up a pair of shoes, he thought about Alec’s hands, strong and beautiful and gentle. He thought about Alec’s fierce protectiveness as he collected his keys, and the Shadowhunter’s constant fear that he would let people down even though he almost never did. He thought about Alec at Alicante, blue eyes bright as he pushed his way through the crowd, stumbling over his words adorably as he asked if Magnus would be his partner for the battle. As he walked down the stairs, he thought about the expression on Alec’s face when Magnus had told him it was over, and the way it had almost physically hurt him to walk away from the first person he’d truly loved in many, many years.

Granted, there were some pretty big things they needed to work through. But over the last two weeks, thinking about how _right_ it felt when Alec was with him and how utterly _wrong_ now he was gone, he’d come to realize they were _both_ at fault – and that Alec was more than worth it.

He made it to the Institute in record time and rang the bell, rang it again when he got impatient, and then simply leaned himself against it when he got _really_ impatient.

He breezed past a startled Isabelle with barely a glance, calling out a hello and tossing a wave back over his shoulder belatedly. He headed straight for Alec’s room, then stopped.

He stared at the door for a full thirty seconds before raising his hand and giving two sharp, decisive raps. Then he waited. And waited. And when he received no response, he did it again, louder. A muffled “go away” was all he got, so he decided to ignore it. He tested the handle and, finding it unlocked, swung open the door. Crossing the threshold, he took in the room in a single sweeping glance. Neat, almost spare, everything in its place and not much extra. And there on the bed – Alec, sitting with his back against the headboard, knees drawn up, elbows folded on top of them and forehead resting on his arms.

He didn’t look up. “Jace, if you’re going to-”

“I am _insulted_ that you would mistake my presence for that of _Jace_.” He infused the name with as much distaste as he could, trying to keep it light, but it was hard. Alec’s head had jerked up at the first sound of his voice and he… there was no other word for it. He _scrambled_. His head hit the wooden headboard behind him with a _thunk_ loud enough to make Magnus wince, and his foot caught in the bedcovers as he swung his legs over to stand. Magnus ran a critical eye over him. He was thinner, the fine bones of his face more pronounced, lending credence to Jace’s assertion that he wasn’t eating right, and there were dark circles under his eyes, so the ‘not sleeping’ part was apparently true, as well. Alec had always had expressive eyes, and what Magnus saw in them made the breath catch in his chest. Oh, yeah. Alec was hurting. Bad.

He took a half-step forward before he could stop himself, but froze when Alec flinched. He watched as the Shadowhunter looked away and seemed to physically pull himself together. When he turned back to Magnus, his expression was carefully neutral. But he still wouldn’t meet Magnus’s eyes.

“Magnus! I— Sorry, I wasn’t expecting you.” Aside from the faint blush and whatever he was trying to hide in his eyes, he seemed remarkably composed.

“You have very persistent friends,” Magnus remarked mildly.

Alec looked stricken. “I’m sorry. I told them not to. I’ll talk to them again.”

Magnus was taken aback. “Alec. They saw you were hurting, and they came to me, the cause, to fix it.”

Alec shook his head. He crossed his arms over his chest, but not before Magnus saw that his hands were shaking. “They shouldn’t have— they shouldn’t have bothered you. Not for this.” _Not for me_. Magnus heard the words, even though Alec didn’t say them.

And suddenly Magnus understood. Alec still had a hard time believing he could be anyone’s priority. In any situation, he almost invariably placed himself last, putting everyone else’s safety and happiness above his own. He was doing it now. Even heartbroken, he was putting Magnus’s heat-of-the-moment demand that he never see any of them again above his own peace of mind.

“Alexander. We need to talk.”

Alec finally looked at him. “No, we don’t. You love me but it doesn’t matter, remember?” His voice cracked and his eyes dropped back to the floor.

Magnus winced, then quickly made up his mind.

“Oh, for crying out—” He closed the distance between them in two long strides, reached for Alec’s shoulder with one hand and his waist with the other, and drew Alec into his arms. Alec melted against him, burying his face against Magnus’s collar and clenching his fists in the warlock’s shirt.

Alec was trembling, and Magnus was startled to feel a wetness against his neck. He tried to draw back, tried to see Alec’s face, but Alec clutched him tighter. “Please,” he whispered. “Please just let me pretend a little longer.”

Magnus’s heart broke. “Alec, I’m here. I’m not going anywhere.” He finally succeeded in detaching Alec enough to grasp his chin and tip his face up. Alec’s eyes skittered to the side briefly before he managed to bring them back to Magnus’s.

“I’m sorry,” he said brokenly, and Magnus fought the urge to hug him again.

“I know. I’m sorry, too.” Alec looked at him quickly. “I’ve had time to think, and I realized that I am not entirely blameless in what occurred.” Alec opened his mouth and then shut it again when Magnus glared at him. “I _am_ sure you were being truthful with me when you said you would not have done anything, but I still wish you’d just _talked_ to me. In any case, I realized I wasn’t ready to let this go. You are too important to me.”

Magnus leaned in to give him a soft kiss, and the look of startled pleasure on Alec’s face made him smile.

Alec was finally meeting his eyes, too, so he counted that as a bonus.

“I never would have done it, you know,” Alec finally said quietly. “I told her that, but…”

“I know,” Magnus reassured him. “I know.”

* * *

Magnus reached for his hand to draw him close again and stopped, giving Alec a reproving glare. “Alexander, you’re freezing.”

Alec shrugged, shuffling closer so that he was pressed against the warlock. He buried his nose delicately right where the collar of Magnus’s shirt met his skin and breathed in, taking in the unique mix of sandalwood and _Magnus_ that he’d never thought he’d have again. “Yeah. Haven’t been able to keep warm since— in a while,” he finished hurriedly.

Magnus pulled back gently, just far enough to meet Alec’s eyes. The sadness in Magnus’s eyes hurt him, and he wished he could take the words back.

“Oh, Alec,” Magnus breathed.

And then he was once more engulfed in warm arms, pressed against a warm chest, and for the first time in weeks he actually felt warmth seeping back into his core. He closed his eyes and let himself bask in it, trying to ignore the tiny voice in the back of his mind telling him to make the most of it now before it was taken away again.

Eventually, Magnus pulled back. His lips quirked up. “Love the shirt, by the way.”

Alec glanced down and immediately flushed scarlet. “Sorry. I grabbed it by accident when I was getting my stuff. I was going to ask Izzy to return it.”

Magnus tugged lightly on the fabric, unable to keep the smile off his face. “No, keep it. You look good in my clothes.”

Alec offered a shy smile and leaned in to kiss him again.

* * *

Jace figured he’d given the two of them more than enough time, and strolled back towards Alec’s room. They’d _better_ have worked it out by now. He didn’t know how much more of this broody Alec he could take.

He paused with his hand on the door, taking a deep breath and gathering himself, preparing to burst in, cover his eyes dramatically, and complain as loudly as possible about things he shouldn’t have to see. He swung the door open, already opening his mouth, then froze as he took in the scene before him, immediately abandoning all his plans. He’d expected, at the very least, a mildly compromising position he could tease Alec about for _weeks_ – had been looking forward to it, even. The teasing, not having his brain scarred. Just to be clear.

To his (mild, very mild) disappointment, the two of them were curled up on Alec’s narrow bed together, both fully clothed. Alec’s eyes were closed and it looked like he was getting the first decent sleep he’d had in a while. Magnus was awake, idly carding his fingers through Alec’s hair. He’d looked up when he heard the door open, and his eyes met Jace’s across the room. He offered a serious nod that Jace took for a ‘thank you.’

He returned the nod and backed out of the room, closing the door softly behind him.


End file.
